All this recent talk about bigly crowd sizes and celebrity endorsements has got me thinking about our own fan bases, the people surrounding us who have our backs, listen attentively to us, and offer us insight much richer than we can muster on our own. Years ago a friend, Tom Munnerlyn, asked me, “Who are your people?” Apparently, I misunderstood the question as I rattled off the names of family, loved ones, friends, and staff members. “That’s not what I’m talking about,” he clarified. “Who are the people you go to when you are stuck, vulnerable, or at a loss?” My friend had a point. Just as I had encouraged college students to develop their professional networks of mentors and supporters, I needed to practice what I preached. As a former staff member of mine, Christy Quiogue, was known to share at her popular student workshops, “It’s not just who you know, it’s who knows you.” That’s stellar advice for college students, and for all of us.

It turns out there is a term for this personal go-to advisory group. They are called our Anam Caras. Popularized by Irish author John O’Donohue, our Anam Caras are our “soul friends.” There are times we need such friends to cheer us on, and there are times we need them to call us on our delusions. We owe it to ourselves to cultivate an eclectic group of besties who ably pivot between both roles. These are the people we call when we want to float a brilliant idea, and these are our lunch dates and phone chats when we are struggling with a prickly political crisis. Our Anam Caras are able to get us out of our heads. Their role is not merely to puff up our vanity—although every now and again we need that kind of soothing balm.

So, who are your Anam Caras? They may be those in your professional network who are living their lives in a manner that you notice, maybe even admire. Your Anam Caras may also include those you trust for needed therapeutic services. I coached one client who counts me among what she calls her care team—which includes her therapist, her spiritual director, and her yoga instructor!

I can’t help but to think that Taylor Swift would be a terrific college campus staff member. I could see her running the admission office, fundraising for Greek life, or managing the most popular dorm on campus. If I were so fortunate to be among Taylor’s campus colleagues, I would definitely like her to serve as one of my Anam Caras. I could just picture it, the two of us sipping lattes in a vibey coffee shop in the student center, swapping stories of the ups and downs in our careers. Taylor would be so present in our conversation. She would ask me good questions to help me up my game. I would leave the coffee date inspired and clear-headed. And then, Taylor would write a song about me. Uh oh! Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.